When Everything Went Nuts, Kupo!

Author: Afeni

Beta readers: Laughing Man and Vaarna

Rating: PG-13

Fandom: Final Fantasy IX

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or the world. They belong to Square Enix.

A/N: This fan fiction is written for KupoCon's Fanworks Contest 2016/2017. Writing in English had been an adventure for me, because I usually write in my native language (Finnish). It had been a fun and educating process. I hope that you all enjoy the story.

Prompt used: "Bearing witness to a life-altering event or disaster that takes place in any of the games—all from the POV of an NPC (non-playable character)."

When Everything Went Nuts, Kupo!

There are rumors that Burmecia has fallen, kupo. Queen Brahne had declared war to the rats and won. The other rumors say that princess Garnet is missing. I once saw her when she came to Dragon’s Gate and wanted to go outside. I let her go, of course, not wanting to make the regent angry. Now it seems it was a big mistake.

Could it be that Burmecians had kidnapped her, kupo? What’s going on in the Mist Continent?

Memoirs of a Great Kupo
Written by Moonte


“Evening, kupos,” Moonte said as he flew to the roof of the big clock tower of Theatre District. The evening was nice and warm but there was a strange tension in the air. Moonte did his best to get rid of the odd feeling. This should be a kupo night with his friends. He had nothing to worry about.

“Kupo!” Mogki and Moodon answered. Two of them seemed already settled down. Mogki lived in the inn which was located near the city entrance and Moodon had a nice room in Lindblum Castle so it was easy for them to come to the monthly moogle meeting. Moonte, on the other hand, had to travel all the way up to the castle to even get to Lindblum. But he wasn’t complaining. He liked it down at Dragon’s Gate. It wasn’t as busy as an inn nor as fancy as a room in the castle. It was a quiet and peaceful place where he could write his Book of Kupo without too many people disturbing him.

Although Moonte enjoyed his time down at Dragon’s Gate, he was very fond of these moogle meetups they did regularly with Mogki and Moodon. They always eat well – this time some rare Kupo Nuts, mushrooms and pickles was served – and talk about what was going on at Lindblum at the moment.

“So, how have things been in the inn, Mogki?” Moonte asked as he opened one of the boxes of kuposome delicacy. As Moodon has promised there were Kupo Nuts in the box. Moonte hadn’t eaten one in months. They were so rare and so expensive that he normally couldn’t afford them. Moodon got paid for his job as Lindblum Castle’s record keeper much more than the other moogles, so he sometimes brought Kupo Nuts for all of them.

“Kupo!” Mogki said. “Someone keeps complaining about me! There was an angry message in the guestbook once again: ‘Do something to that noise, the kupo-kupos keep me awake and make me go crazy!’ Like it was my fault that guests come to talk to me and I have to answer, kupo!”

“What’s wrong with that guest, kupo?” Moodon asked. “I mean, kupo, the kupo sound is the most beautiful sound in the world, kupo.”
“The most beautiful sound right after cracking open a Kupo Nut, you mean, kupo?” Moonte corrected as he opened the nut he was holding. The scent of it brought back memories from childhood when mamakupo always got a Kupo Nut for his birthday. Moonte could already taste the nut even though it wasn’t in his mouth yet. The perfect taste and the perfect scent with beautiful memories; that was the essence of Kupo Nuts.

“Yeah, kupo, you’re right, kupo,” Mogki said.
“Did you hear that they are performing the ‘Moogle Wannabe 2’ soon?” Moodon changed the subject. “I even heard that the main role is played by Lowell Bridges, kupo.”
“But isn’t he human, kupo?” Moonte asked.
“Don’t you think that the main role should be played by a moogle, kupo?”
“Well, it’s ‘moogle wannabe’, kupo,” Moodon said. “I think it’s okay for a human to want to be a moogle. I mean, who wouldn’t like to become a moogle, kupo?”
“Kupo, being a moogle is the most kupo thing in the world,” Mogki said. The others nodded. Moonte smiled and thought that maybe he should check out that play. It could give him even more inspiration for his writing task.

The sun was now setting and people were lighting oil lamps and candles. Lindblum was a very beautiful city at nighttime and Moonte couldn’t wait to see the stars again. The only boring part of living at Dragon’s Gate was that you were never able to see the stars. Even if you went outside the gate, the mist was blocking the view. So, when the moogles gathered, Moonte took his time to stare at the sky without mist. His secret dream was that someday he could bring a kupo moogle girl to the roof tops. Then they could watch the stars and two moons together and maybe even share a bottle of nectar. It would be just like in those books Moonte had been reading.

“Kupo, what’s that?”
Moonte and Mogki turned to look in the direction Moodon was pointing.
“It’s just an airship, kupo,” Mogki said.
“But I live at the castle and I have never seen that one,” Moodon said.
“Are you sure, kupo? There are many airships at the castle, kupo. I can’t remember all of them,” said Moonte.
“There aren’t that many, kupo. I’ve never seen that one before and it’s coming from Alexandria’s direction. This can’t be good, kupo!”
“From Alexandria you said, kupo?” Now Moonte was terrified. Maybe Burmecians weren’t the ones who kidnapped princess Garnet? Maybe Queen Brahne was now looking for her daughter in Lindblum and Moonte was the one to blame for letting her go?
“Yes, kupo. Alexandria is right behind those mountains, kupo,” said Moodon.
“Oh my kupo! I’m in trouble!”
“Why, kupo? What’s that airship got to do with you?” Mogki asked.

Moonte swallowed the last bit of his Kupo Nut and told them everything. How princess Garnet had come to Dragon’s Gate with captain Steiner and how he had let them go and even lied to others that the gate hadn’t been opened for the longest time. Now the princess was missing and it was all his fault.

“But the rumors in the castle say that she left because she wanted to,” Moodon told. “She even used magic to put the regent to sleep, she was very sneaky, kupo. Even I didn’t know she could do that kind of magic, kupo.”

“That can’t be. Putting someone to sleep is black magic and no princess of Alexandria has been able to do that,” Moonte said. “I know, kupo. I have been studying for my book.”
“But they also say that Alexandria has gotten new black magic abilities,” Moodon said.
“That sounds scary, kupo,” Mogki said. Moonte nodded. He didn’t know what to think. Was princess Garnet deceived them all? Was she just an evil black magic user who wanted conquer the world with her mother? And where had she got those powers?

The moogles stared in quiet as the airship drew closer. The big airship gate wasn’t opening; the regent wasn’t going to let Alexandrians fly in. The people of Lindblum came out of their houses and stared at the airship, too. Everyone was pointing at it and shouting to each other. Suddenly the air was full of tension.

“What are those, kupo?” Mogki trembled. His voice was just a tiny whisper. There were sparkly bubbles coming from the airship and they flew right to the Lindblum Castle and all over the city. Some of them even landed on the Theatre District’s square.
“I don’t know, kupo, but I surely don’t like this,” Moonte said. Even if he wasn’t the one to blame, this was bad. Very, very bad.

The landed bubbles disappeared and there were black mages standing at the square. The moogles recognized them because they had met Vivi, Zidane’s little black mage friend. Vivi had been nothing but nice to the moogles but these bigger mages raised their arms and started throwing fireballs at the people and nearby houses. Everyone was screaming and trying to get away from the mages. Moonte was trembling. His fur stood up and his pompom shook so hard he feared it might fell off.
“They are burning; the houses are burning, kupo!” Moodon yelled.
“And there was an explosion at the castle’s airship dock!” Moonte yelled too.

Suddenly the whole city shook. The airship was firing at the city and at the same time someone was firing from the sea below, too. There had to be ships near the shore. This was a full-scale war declaration, not just any attack.

“Oh no!” Moodon yelled.
“What, what now, kupo?” Moonte asked. But he just gazed at the airship and he could see what the reason was. He had never seen anything so horrifying. He didn’t know what it was but it filled his mind with fear. It was like a gigantic floating ball with a terrible and enormous mouth. It rose from nowhere and filled the entire sky leaving the airship behind.

The terrifying ball drew breath and there was a great wind, greater than anything Moonte had felt before. He had to wrap his little arms around the weather vane’s pole to prevent himself from flying into the monster’s gaping maw.

Moonte felt someone grasp his legs. He looked at his feet and saw Mogki. Moodon was holding Mogki’s waist.
“Don’t let go, kupo!” Moodon yelled.
“I’m trying not to, kupo!” Moonte yelled back. He wasn’t going to lose his friends to that monster even if it broke his tiny arms. He would hold his grasp as long as he was alive. Moodon and Mogki were the kupoest friends of his, so giving up wasn’t an option.

The wind broke windows and yanked people with it. The city dust spread out from streets and fill Moonte’s mouth as he drew breath. He though his arms were going to break apart. He was really hurting but he did everything he could to holding onto the pole. He closed his eyes and said his prayers not actually knowing to whom but it didn’t matter if he and his friends would be saved.

The wind stopped as suddenly as it started. The spherical monster disappeared and the night was still. The moogles fell back to the roof. Moonte let his grasp go and took a deep breath. Every hair in his body was hurting and he was more tired than he had ever been. Lindblum was in ruins, the dinner was gone and everything had changed. Moonte couldn’t move himself but he saw that Mogki and Moodon were still with him. They were alive and staring the airship with Alexandrian banners that flew towards the castle.

Moodon had been right. The short relief of surviving was washed away with terrible feeling of pure horror. The ball monster might have been gone for now but Moote was sure it had been an Eidolon. Somehow Queen Brahne had access not only black magic but the summoning powers as well. With those forces, she had conquered the whole Mist Continent.

The new era had begun.


The war has thrown its shadow over the city of Lindblum. People live in fear now, kupo. I myself stay at Dragon’s Gate, even though the Alexandrian soldiers keep bugging me. There isn’t peace here anymore. Everything has changed for the worse, kupo.

I’m going to do my best to help Lindblum and regent Cid, who has always been kind to us moogles, kupo. I keep writing, I’ll write everything down, so the next generation of moogles will know what happened here and why, kupo.

And at least now I know it wasn’t my fault what happened to princess Garnet, kupo. She fooled us all but she did it because she wanted to help everyone. The castle’s record keeper Moodon has told me this: “She is the kupoest princess of all time and we must do everything in our power to help her save the world from the evil queen Brahne, kupo”. That I’ll do. And you should too, kupo.

Memoirs of a Great Kupo
Written by Moonte

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